Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A little way up..... the Road Less Travelled

Come to think of it.... the Road Less Travelled must be less travelled for a reason, right ? Perhaps its got the wrong sort of folks hanging out just round the corner. Perhaps its haunted. Perhaps its where the last aliens were sighted. Perhaps this was the road the PWD department gave up half way through construction, since they ran out of funds. Or just perhaps, nobody ever remembers anyone going down the road - and coming back again with a tale !! And so, its left to the imagination of anyone who stops to think, every once in a while.... "Wonder what DID actually happen down the road to the guy who took that Road Less Travelled (RLT here on)"

Well folks, for some of you buddies who have requested me to post a write-up updating about the journey..... here goes the story till now :

The first thing that you need to be aware of as you step on to the RLT is that it is not just one long undulating road. Its actually different streets that come together to become the RLT. As you step onto the first stretch down the RLT, you actually step onto the Street of Elation. No more the hectic lifestyle and no more the compulsive intimate love affair with your cell phone. If you are the Bollywood types, you begin to understand how Manisha Koirala felt when she got free of the obsessive Nana Patekar in Agnisakshi. After years and years of corporate bondage, a free weekday at home, often feels the closest experience to childhood freedom. "Wow !!" you tell yourself - "Why didn't I do this earlier ?"

Tick-Tock Tick-Tock Tick-Tock Tick-Tock..... 30 days pass by..... this is just about the time you begin to find your feet again. Yes, years of whirring-by in the corporate merry-go-round calls for atleast 30 days of recovery, for the dizzy spell to wear off !

Back to the journey down the RLT.... since there is no trace of any beaten track by now, you have to make your way through thick vegetation. Something nice happens here.... alone with yourself, your mind wanders back to the interests and thoughts of times past. You even find time to get back in touch with all those friends you kept promising to catch up with "someday". And so as you walk on lost in your thoughts - you don't realise it - but from Elation Street, you have gradually crossed over to Street Interesting.

Now, this is where the journey begins to get tricky. "Why ?", you wonder - but the reason is as simple as it is profound. As Khalil Gibran said : "Joy and sorrow are but inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed" - much the same way it is, that Interest and Fear are two sides of the same coin. After years of corporate grind, you reach a level of competence in your chosen task. But out there in the RLT all those skills don't count for much really (not atleast for now). So as you walk down the road now you are a novice again. Its "Interesting" if you approach it with a playful spirit that says : "I am here to learn", but frankly - that's easier said than done. The first thing that comes to your mind almost as a reflex action from years of conditioning is the entrapment of what old man Freud would say is your "ego". "YOU" - a virtuoso, a star in the previous journey - can you let go of that entrapment and be a wilful novice again ? "What are you doing ?" a voice within asks you - implying basically that you are NUTS to be doing this..... afterall you are not THE BUDDHA who renounced everything for a new life of enlightenment. Thats when "Interesting" turns around and shows you its "Fearful" face. The shaded stretches down the RLT now suddenly seem dark and foreboding. "Who knows whats beyond" the voice pips again - and theres a chill down your spine as you ponder whether this whole journey was one big impulsive mistake !

But somehow from deep within, you find the resolve to walk on, albeit in tentative steps. Somewhere within, you find a new fount of humility too. You accept your new found status as a novice, but also light up a flicker of ambition to not stop the journey till you become a star, a virtuoso here too. You speak a lot to yourself to drown out the voices from within that still scare you every once in a while. Every step ahead adds to your confidence that there are no lurking demons afterall - and there is hope still that there is a light at the end of the stretch of road you now are in.

Its 90 days now down the RLT.... and Street Interesting now takes a sharp turn towards the Street of Illusions. You have made the big leap - in your mindset - of getting beyond your ego and arrogance - to embrace being a novice, keen to learn again. And as you learn, and learn more - you begin to make your plans again.... and this is when - in the Street of illusions, you hit a complete dark dead-end. "Oops !!" you think..... "so this is why this is the RLT !!" you gasp. "So what happens now ? Is it a U-turn and back again ? How can this be ?". Surprise gives way to frustration. "What the xxx", you tell yourself.... "If only I knew about this 3 months back!". Slowly there is a well spring of anger building up ....... but inbetween all that steam the bottomline remains.... What do you do now ?

While you catch your breath amidst all this and slowly come to terms with the new reality, something still tells you : "Theres got to be some other way ahead. I just can't be stopping here"... and so you pull yourself up again and walk up to the edge of the darkness.... and voila !! ... you discover - the dark dead-end is but an elaborate ruse - an optical illusion setup to test your resolve. How desperate and keen are you to walk the RLT ?..... do you look to make a way.... or do you give up at an apparent dead-end ? Can you face your own fears to walk in pitch darkness for a while, till you find a new stretch of road again ?

Sometimes we astonish ourselves... and coming through the Street of Illusions is like a small personal victory. You feel like jumping with joy and clicking your heels - not for anyone else to see and applaud, but because you quietly feel so good again.

The Street of Illusions opens up to what looks like the village roads of India ..... unmetalled, hard, bumpy, dusty.... the Creation Street. This is where all the new ideas, new learnings, new experiences begin to come together in your mind in an act of conception. This is an exciting phase - as all conception is - Everything is created twice they say, first in your mind and then in reality...... it is then that suddenly, almost like an epiphany, the truth occurs to you : For every person taking the RLT - there is no fixed destination ! The destination is as imagined and as conceived by that individual person making his own unique journey !!

And so folks, this is where I am in the journey right now.... walking down the RLT !! One learning from the journey till now has been that the RLT is less travelled because at most times its a lonely journey to undertake. It challenges your faith in yourself - and it challenges you to find yourself anew. In many ways it reminds me of a banana boat ride..... can you hang on through the twists and turns - and still enjoy the ride ?