Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A little way up..... the Road Less Travelled

Come to think of it.... the Road Less Travelled must be less travelled for a reason, right ? Perhaps its got the wrong sort of folks hanging out just round the corner. Perhaps its haunted. Perhaps its where the last aliens were sighted. Perhaps this was the road the PWD department gave up half way through construction, since they ran out of funds. Or just perhaps, nobody ever remembers anyone going down the road - and coming back again with a tale !! And so, its left to the imagination of anyone who stops to think, every once in a while.... "Wonder what DID actually happen down the road to the guy who took that Road Less Travelled (RLT here on)"

Well folks, for some of you buddies who have requested me to post a write-up updating about the journey..... here goes the story till now :

The first thing that you need to be aware of as you step on to the RLT is that it is not just one long undulating road. Its actually different streets that come together to become the RLT. As you step onto the first stretch down the RLT, you actually step onto the Street of Elation. No more the hectic lifestyle and no more the compulsive intimate love affair with your cell phone. If you are the Bollywood types, you begin to understand how Manisha Koirala felt when she got free of the obsessive Nana Patekar in Agnisakshi. After years and years of corporate bondage, a free weekday at home, often feels the closest experience to childhood freedom. "Wow !!" you tell yourself - "Why didn't I do this earlier ?"

Tick-Tock Tick-Tock Tick-Tock Tick-Tock..... 30 days pass by..... this is just about the time you begin to find your feet again. Yes, years of whirring-by in the corporate merry-go-round calls for atleast 30 days of recovery, for the dizzy spell to wear off !

Back to the journey down the RLT.... since there is no trace of any beaten track by now, you have to make your way through thick vegetation. Something nice happens here.... alone with yourself, your mind wanders back to the interests and thoughts of times past. You even find time to get back in touch with all those friends you kept promising to catch up with "someday". And so as you walk on lost in your thoughts - you don't realise it - but from Elation Street, you have gradually crossed over to Street Interesting.

Now, this is where the journey begins to get tricky. "Why ?", you wonder - but the reason is as simple as it is profound. As Khalil Gibran said : "Joy and sorrow are but inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed" - much the same way it is, that Interest and Fear are two sides of the same coin. After years of corporate grind, you reach a level of competence in your chosen task. But out there in the RLT all those skills don't count for much really (not atleast for now). So as you walk down the road now you are a novice again. Its "Interesting" if you approach it with a playful spirit that says : "I am here to learn", but frankly - that's easier said than done. The first thing that comes to your mind almost as a reflex action from years of conditioning is the entrapment of what old man Freud would say is your "ego". "YOU" - a virtuoso, a star in the previous journey - can you let go of that entrapment and be a wilful novice again ? "What are you doing ?" a voice within asks you - implying basically that you are NUTS to be doing this..... afterall you are not THE BUDDHA who renounced everything for a new life of enlightenment. Thats when "Interesting" turns around and shows you its "Fearful" face. The shaded stretches down the RLT now suddenly seem dark and foreboding. "Who knows whats beyond" the voice pips again - and theres a chill down your spine as you ponder whether this whole journey was one big impulsive mistake !

But somehow from deep within, you find the resolve to walk on, albeit in tentative steps. Somewhere within, you find a new fount of humility too. You accept your new found status as a novice, but also light up a flicker of ambition to not stop the journey till you become a star, a virtuoso here too. You speak a lot to yourself to drown out the voices from within that still scare you every once in a while. Every step ahead adds to your confidence that there are no lurking demons afterall - and there is hope still that there is a light at the end of the stretch of road you now are in.

Its 90 days now down the RLT.... and Street Interesting now takes a sharp turn towards the Street of Illusions. You have made the big leap - in your mindset - of getting beyond your ego and arrogance - to embrace being a novice, keen to learn again. And as you learn, and learn more - you begin to make your plans again.... and this is when - in the Street of illusions, you hit a complete dark dead-end. "Oops !!" you think..... "so this is why this is the RLT !!" you gasp. "So what happens now ? Is it a U-turn and back again ? How can this be ?". Surprise gives way to frustration. "What the xxx", you tell yourself.... "If only I knew about this 3 months back!". Slowly there is a well spring of anger building up ....... but inbetween all that steam the bottomline remains.... What do you do now ?

While you catch your breath amidst all this and slowly come to terms with the new reality, something still tells you : "Theres got to be some other way ahead. I just can't be stopping here"... and so you pull yourself up again and walk up to the edge of the darkness.... and voila !! ... you discover - the dark dead-end is but an elaborate ruse - an optical illusion setup to test your resolve. How desperate and keen are you to walk the RLT ?..... do you look to make a way.... or do you give up at an apparent dead-end ? Can you face your own fears to walk in pitch darkness for a while, till you find a new stretch of road again ?

Sometimes we astonish ourselves... and coming through the Street of Illusions is like a small personal victory. You feel like jumping with joy and clicking your heels - not for anyone else to see and applaud, but because you quietly feel so good again.

The Street of Illusions opens up to what looks like the village roads of India ..... unmetalled, hard, bumpy, dusty.... the Creation Street. This is where all the new ideas, new learnings, new experiences begin to come together in your mind in an act of conception. This is an exciting phase - as all conception is - Everything is created twice they say, first in your mind and then in reality...... it is then that suddenly, almost like an epiphany, the truth occurs to you : For every person taking the RLT - there is no fixed destination ! The destination is as imagined and as conceived by that individual person making his own unique journey !!

And so folks, this is where I am in the journey right now.... walking down the RLT !! One learning from the journey till now has been that the RLT is less travelled because at most times its a lonely journey to undertake. It challenges your faith in yourself - and it challenges you to find yourself anew. In many ways it reminds me of a banana boat ride..... can you hang on through the twists and turns - and still enjoy the ride ?

Monday, November 09, 2009

Jack & Jill on NDTV

Blame it on the extreme proliferation of news channels - or on the insatiable appetite that the general public seems to be having for "reality" shows, the biggest reality show on television now-a-days, 24x7 is from the different news channels. Flash back to the Arushi murder case that became one such reality show - the TV channels milked the event to the utmost possible. So what if it put the actors through the nightmare of their lives - or so what if they were being extremely insensitive about the kind of questions they were asking ?... As long as the TRPs were ringing - its a great show - and as far as the channels were concerned, the show must go on.

Am sure many of you felt the same disgust and exasperation (at times) of this kind of news reporting. My way of handling this is to tune out of such "reality shows" and watch much more interesting channels like Pogo, Cartoon Network, National Geographic and Discovery instead. A friend of mine recently sent me this forward, which is a spoof on news reporting - the "event" being - the fall of Jack and Jill from up the hill. Read on and have a good laugh :

Here is how NDTV 24x7 would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious.

Prashant - TV Anchor
Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story.

Amrita Shah
Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant.

Prashant
Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill ?

Amrita
Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after
[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack"]

Prashant
What news of Jack and Jill?

Amrita
Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw.

Shahid Trivedi
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.
[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "Boy and girl tumble down hill. Water spilled"]

Amrita
Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together?

Shahid Trivedi
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail a water.

Amrita
And what happened next?

Shahid Trivedi
Jack fell down and broke his crown

Amrita
Go on.

Shahid Trivedi
And Jill came tumbling after.

Amrita
Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio Prashant.
[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "Water errand ends in tragedy"]

Prashant
I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen?

Professor
Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
Clearly, one would suspect that if Jacks fall was severe enough to break his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But I think were overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown and this is the key Jill came tumbling after. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped.

Prashant
Professor thank you very much. So there we have it, two persons Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Later in the programme, Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan, and Pakistan launches nuclear warheads against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for a studio discussion about hills, boys and girls and whether water-fetching trips should be supervised. Well be right back...

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus

We live today in a cynical world. Are you doing something the majority frowns upon ? Do you have a thought that does not match with the current norm ?.... Hold onto it - don't let it go. The greatest of inventions afterall where all instances when someone chose to NOT follow the norm. The examples and instances are numerous - but the one which in my mind is most graphical of this truth is the one about the Fosbury Flop.

Mexico Olympics, 1968 : The customery way for a high jumper was to cross the bar with his body parallel to it - the Western Roll technique. Along came Dick Fosbury and did the unthinkable : he did it the other way round - he took off from the ground with his back towards the bar !!... the result - the famous Fosbury Flop. He beat the competition by more than a feet !!!

I have always been a non-conformist in many ways : I left my first job in HCL without any "backups" - because I wanted to do an MBA. Three months later, I was doing my MBA. In college there was this major academic craze to do as may papers as possible - perhaps to get an edge during campus placements. I firmly believed in doing only the minimum number required. And against the "norm" of doing two specialisations, I did only one : Marketing. The rest of the papers being divided between many eclectic choices. Did it make a difference eitherways - nothing really except that I perhaps had more time for fun. Another instance I remember was when a professor offered "Business Process Re-engineering" as a new elective. There was a mad rush for that. I did not even apply for that - my logic being that like all fads this would pass too - and anyways BPR work is initiated always top-down from the CEOs office - and by the time I become CEO, the concept of BPR would have disappeared. I am proud I got that bang on !!... something i keep chiding my wife about :-) The latest in my non-conformist streak ofcourse has been the decision to leave a cushy job and do something "different" professionally. No great success to report here as yet - but heck, am I learning or what !!! We tend to take things too seriously at times and believe that there is only one way up the corporate ladder - going upwards. But while doing so, we often tend to forget that the journey is as important as the climb too.

In an insecure world, conformity is appreciated and what the majority does is often seen as the right thing to do. From an Indian perspective, I really feel that the concept of "job security" is very highly over-rated. And somewhere I feel, its due to the cynicism we have developed as a society about most things which are fun. The thinking seems to be - if its fun, it must be frivolous - and if its frivolous, its not for serious adults.

In this context of all encompassing cynicism, I just happened to come across a piece of writing from the "Sun" - that a newspaperman (Francis Pharcellus Church) had once written to a little girl who had been told by her sceptic friends that : "theres nobody called Santa Claus". Its a beautiful piece of writing on the importance of believeing in such things. I am reproducing it verbatim :

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?
"VIRGINIA O'HANLON."
115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET.

"VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Peering Thru The Mist


A thick haze of mist hangs about,
The path I seek to take.
And as I make my way ahead,
Vague forms begin to take shape.

I hear some far away strains,
Of what song or tune, I can't say.
Some smells come wafting by too,
Some unknown - some oh so familiar.

Different clues of a jigsaw puzzle,
Coming into focus and gone again.
Just about there - but still not clear.

I keep walking up the trail,
One step at a time - and the next one again.
Taking in everything coming my way,
The smells, the sights, the sounds, the thoughts,
And occassionally some creeping doubts, the fears.

Pieces of some future tapestry,
A puzzle awaiting deciphering.

What the mind can see, the man can do they say,
And so the mind endeavours.
To peep through the hazy curtain of mist,
To see the teasing mystery unfold.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

The Hidden Power of Shared Values

Am reading an interesting book by Kouzes & Posner called “The Leadership Challenge”. There is an intriguing passage there that resonated with me. Sharing it here, since I think its quite profound :

The very first step on the journey to credible leadership is clarifying your values – discovering those fundamental beliefs that will guide your decisions and actions along the path to success and significance. That journey involves an exploration of the inner territory where your true voice resides. Its essential that you take yourself on this voyage because its the only route to authenticity and because your personal values drive your commitment to the organization and to the cause. You can't do what you say if you dont know what you believe. And, you can't do what you say if you don't believe in what you are saying.”

To facilitate this, they have an interesting set of questions that you can answer for yourself :

  1. What do you stand for ? Why ?
  2. What do you believe in ? Why ?
  3. What are you discontented about ? Why ?
  4. What brings you suffering ? Why ?
  5. What makes you weep and wail ? Why ?
  6. What makes you jump for joy ? Why ?
  7. What are you passionate about ? Why ?
  8. What keeps you awake at night ? Why ?
  9. Whats grabbed hold and wont let go ? Why ?
  10. What do you want for your life ? Why ?
  11. Just what is it that you really care about ? Why ?

Just try it – at the least, you will know yourself better. :-)

Just got me thinking that we have such an action oriented culture in most companies, that spending time doing an activity like this would generally be considered a complete waste of time. And then we wonder why we don't see more leadership in our people in organizations. Peter Senge, in his book “The Fifth Discipline” refers to this as one of the learning disabilities of organizations : the illusion of taking charge – alluding to the propensity that most of us folks have of jumping headlong into action as the panacea for all ills. But perhaps, slow at times is fast.

As per Kouzes & Posner again, research confirms that organizations with a strong corporate culture based on a foundation of shared values outperformed other firms by a huge margin :

  • Their revenue grew more than four times faster
  • Their rate of job creation was seven times higher
  • Their stock price grew twelve times faster
  • Their profit performance was 750 percent higher

If the data is so overwhelming – why then are exercises in unraveling personal values and hence finding shared values, not an extremely prevalent practice in today's corporate world ? Afterall, what are values – but our deepest beliefs and convictions. Do people not know or is it just intellectual laziness or is it the attitude of saying : “Oh yes, we know that” (As in – yes we have read all about moto-biking, we know it now !!).

I suspect the answer lies deeper. Most visioning and value exercises are done by a group of senior management folks in an out-of-office break out session. The output is then canned and delivered to everyone in the organization for absorption. But can values really be forced ? And so the inevitable happens – and after some lip service, the whole exercise dies a quiet death. And the next time someone refers to it again, there are knowing smiles and someone says : “Oh yes, we know that” !! Things like company vision & values are often brushed aside only because more often than not – they remain as just slogans decorating walls.

For shared values to emerge, the only way then, is for it to be painstakingly forged, which means the exercise of arriving at it needs to be more widespread with a much larger representation. If people across the organization are involved in arriving at it, if they feel heard and involved – I believe visions and values can be a very effective tool in forging alignment. For shared vision and values to thrive though – there has to be a culture wherein the apex leadership has an ongoing dialogue with employees on living the values & rewarding it.

Its not for nothing that the devil resides in the execution !! ….. till then, the attractive statistic remains just that – a promised land, but too difficult to get to for the vast majority. For old times sake, pulled out and had a look at hp's iconic Rules of the Garage – values put down by Bill Hewlett & Dave Packard.

In retrospect, I wonder : would it not do hp a world of good to go back to its roots ?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

First week at la la land

Whew !!.... what a first week at work, here in Singapore !!

Before I get into details - here are some brass-tacks. My office is located inside Sentosa Park (yes there are offices inside !!). I am currently staying in a quaint, "studio apartment" - in a large expansive site we have at Sembawang, which once used to be the school for British children, during WW II days. Feels tickled to have so much history around me. The Sembawang park near-abouts here was the site of some intense fighting they say, and to this day - there are tales of ghosts that frequent these parts. Having said that, Sembawang is one of the most beautiful parts of this lovely city of Singapore - with old colonial houses dotting the landscape, very broad roads flanked on either sides by lush greenery and a quiet that is seldom seen in any bustling city.
Day 1 started with a program that we were doing for NUS (National university of singapore) - a group of 22 students that had 19 nationalities between them. It was a team building activity. The extreme diversity meant it was great fun - lot of laughter and bonhomie by the time we got through with it. This was followed by a steady stream of varied programs for an assortment of companies like DBS, Maersk, Singtel. The added bonus for me, other than the learnings in the program itself, is that I get to sit in presentations of such varied companies and get a glimpse of how different companies in different industries think, plan and strategise.

There were two programs in particular that really stood out for me. The first one was a "Cookery Challenge" that we did for 120 employees of the Ministry of education. I never realised that cooking of all things could be made such fun !!.... everyone was given a fixed budget, the raw material was auctioned and then.... lo and behold in 60 mins flat.... we had 10 teams all preparing a starter, a main course and a dessert. And ofcourse the final products were garnished and decorated by the "chef de presentatione", such that the offering was not just tasty, but really beckoning to the eye too. Was genuinely tough coming out with a winner on that one.... but what the heck - with so much fun, everyone was a winner !!

The other program was one we did for a group of kids from Hongkong (averaging say 11 years) ... the facilitator was going through his normal routine and so asked the kids... "Kids, so what do you want from this program ?"..... just imagine his shock when the kids started rattling out one after the other...."XBox 360"....."PS2".....one even said "a 100 dollars" !!!!..... he somehow side-stepped that one. Then the next question..."ok tell me, what happens when you put two dogs and a cat together ?".... this was a pre-cursor to a funny slide where two dogs and a cat are co-operating to get some beer out of the refrigerator. So the expected answer was "they will fight"..."kill each other" or something like that. But again - kids are kids, most unpredictable : for the next 10 minutes the room was full of cats meowing and dogs barking. The poor facilitator could only hold his hips and laugh !!!

Towards the end of the week - caught a ferry and went down to Bintan, an island in Indonesia (visa on arrival - so no problem la). Bintan is a island that the Indonesian government is almost completely developing for tourism. Its got some really fabulous resorts and some of the most pristine seashores, extending for miles. Its also got large tracts of forest areas that make for good trekking. First day here, i.e Friday was a program we did for the Bintan Lagoon Resorts management team - with an interesting activity called "geo-caching", where teams are actually given a GPS receiver each and asked to track out pre-determined locations. Good fun in all. Second half was spent with a different division of our company - "Camp Challenge", which is focussed on youth development activities. Among other things, I got to climb a 25m high tower using ropes and steel clamps, played a session of paint-ball (an activity where everyone is given a gun with paint-ball bullets... imagine the rest) and at night, we had a night-walk in the forests nearby. Quite an eerie experience, considering that its designed such that - for most parts you end up walking alone, with only the sounds of the forest accompanying you.

Second day at Bintaan, early in the morning - we headed for Gunung Bintaan - for an ardous trek through the forests to reach atop the highest peak in Bintan. Somewhere 80% of the way up, I had the realisation dawn on me, that I am really getting older afterall. Totally out of breath and de-hydrated, somehow managed to reach the peak. Rest of the day, after we decended was dedicated mostly to sea sports. First there was the Jet ski safari.... followed by banana boat and then the most scary one of all - the "flying fish". Will not explain it in detail here, else i will cut out the fun for those of you planning to be here sometime. My advise : just dont miss it. We followed this with a circuit in the ATVs (All terrain vehicles).... and finally capped the evening with a session of beach volley ball. By that time, I was tanned - two shades darker now - and it got time back for our return ferry to Singapore.

Spent Sunday at home.... watching National day on T.V. Monday was a compensatory off here in Singapore. And that bought an end to a very exciting, eventful first few days at Singapore !!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Life In Transition


There was this course that I did a few years back with the Art of Living in Bangalore. As a part of that, there was an exercise where two people would sit facing each other - and one would ask the other : Who are you ?..... the other would reply.... to which the first person again asks : who are you ?.... reply again.... and once again the question repeats : Who are you ?...... and so the question kept repeating on and on......

It was a very interesting and revealing exercise, because it got you thinking about different identities, your different realities, till you came to a point of wonder thinking.... who AM I afterall ? Am I this body ? Am I the relationships I have ? Am I the job that I do ? Am I the position that I hold in my profession ? Am I my thoughts ? Am I my feelings ? Am I my deepest fears ? Am I my biggest hopes ?

But the point of this article is not to get into that discussion. It just occurred to me - now that I am in this fallow period between two professions - that we tend to identify ourselves so deeply with the circumstances of our lives.... with the labels and tags we carry. Till the end of June, I was Arun Rao, "Country Manager PC business" for hp. From the first of July, when I was no longer that "tag" - for a little while, I lost myself. Monday mornings I would involuntarily look at my watch at 10:30a.m - the weekly CSU call with AP region - 2pm, the thought would flash that its Prayer time - weekly sub-region call and 4pm involuntarily again, the thought of the ALT meeting would flash past. Its said that shell-fish, often continue to open and close their shells on the tide schedule of their old home waters, even when they have been transplanted to the laboratory tank or the restaurant kitchen. Humans are really not that different afterall !!... I kept finding myself coming back in new ways to old patterns - the activities and patterns that made me, "me" !! Whether its by our choice or by chance.... endings are always difficult - and more so transitions.

But its been 3 weeks now, since I moved on from hp - and slowly, am beginning to find myself again. I spent a great 10 days in Bangalore with Dad & Mom.... with no incessant cell phone ringing, meeting lot of old friends over beer and lunches and just relaxing. There are a lot of things that I have found time for after a long long time, like :
1) Starting a book and finishing it cover to cover in one go
2) Talking long into the night and then the next day again with Dad and Mom
3) Catching up with a lot of old friends, who I always wanted to catch up with, "sometime again"
4) Just sleeping long into the day and having brunch on a weekday
5) Visiting malls on a weekday
6) Sitting on my balcony enjoying the breeze and doing nothing
7) Catching up with Calvin, Hobbes, Asterix & Obelix again

If you think about it, all of nature actually works in a certain rhythm. Waves in the ocean gather themselves in silence after a huge surge, before beginning again towards the next crest. The leaf fall of Autumn is followed by winter - and then the green shoots appear again from the dry brown wood. Or think about how a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly. Life more often than not, grows in the silences. The order of things in human affairs is not far different from that in nature. Interestingly in many older cultures, there is a formalized pattern for individual growth - often referred to as "rites of passage". The individual when deemed ready is taken out of the society he is a part of and sent for periods of isolation and introspection to the forests. The key idea being that he "dis-identifies" his older identity, since the old identity is seen to stand in the way of transition and transformation and self renewal. Then in ritualised ways, he is slowly rehabilitated into the same society with a new identity. There is an interesting quote from the amazing book by William bridges : "Making Sense Of Lifes Changes", where he quotes a wisecrack he picked up from a signpost in a bar. It read : "I ain't what I ought to be", "and I ain't what I am going to be. But I ain't what I was." Somehow, I relate to that wisecrack right now.

Less than two weeks to go before I start a new journey. Am not thinking too far ahead as yet .... one step at a time, one day at a time, I tell myself. I look around me and I really appreciate how lucky I am to get a chance to get a break like this. So, while it lasts, I am determined to make the most of it. Afterall, as a zen saying goes : After enlightenment, the laundry.



Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Just for the butterflies !!

For years now - I have been in the adrenalin pumping rush of an industry - which is like being on an ever speeding treadmill. Michael Dell made the famous statement about the IT hardware industry which is so true - that you have a nano-second to celebrate your achievements here - before you move on, to the next month - to the next quarter. Its an addictive industry if you love technology which changes at the pace of Moores law. What is cutting edge - becomes dated within a quarter, and EoL (end of life) in approximately 6 months time. One of the best descriptions I have heard for this industry though, came from one of my ex-bosses, who said : "We are actually in the business of selling fish". There are just about two key suppliers here (Intel & Microsoft) who control the prices, hence bag most of the margins in the industry. For the rest of the vendors, its a business where throughput is key. Your "fish" needs to sell fast - sometimes at "whatever" price. Else, it begins to stink. What this means is every vendor is forever on his toes. This is the charm of the IT hardware industry - constant learning, the allure of new technologies, speed & the thrill of having the proverbial Damocles sword hanging at all times. The challenge is : quarter on quarter - can you deliver relentlessly on revenue, margins and marketshares ?..... if you can, you are king - if you cannot, shrug and try again - the nano-second has passed - you are in the next quarter already !!

Many close friends - genuinely worried that I may be making a mistake - have been asking me : why then have I chosen to leave this heady rush ? .... especially when I am known to be a confirmed addict ? The truest answer is that : Everyone hears and moves to a different drummer. I have always had this voice inside, telling me to stake out on my own - be my own boss - and move in more creative directions. For long now - I have hushed that whisper - but one learns, through experience that the voice we hear - the hunches - the gut feel - is Life nudging us in directions, where hidden paths open where we thought none existed. When we do the same thing for years - we reach a level of competence (or incompetence) where we become smug about our capabilities, where we are at peace with ourselves - where we lose the butterflies in our stomachs !! Thats when, if we hear close enough - one can hear Life telling - move on sonny, get the garden back !!

The most beautiful things - the events that taught me the most, the incidents that have benefitted me the most, have always happened when the butterflies have been flitting around in amusement in my stomach. To think back in time :
1) The first time I tried speaking on stage
2) The time when I took my first car from the showroom, without knowing to drive perfectly
3) The first time I had gingerly said "I love you" to a girl
4) The one time I asked "Will you marry me ?" to a girl (this was a mega butterfly party !!)
5) The time when I stood for President of the Literary club in college
6) The numerous occasions when I had to do "cold calls" in my first sales job
7) Taking up the job of defining and starting from scratch : "Client virtualization"

I guess there are many more.... but the point really is : Its important to be slightly insecure & off-kilter in life. Its important to move out of our defined comfort zones and challenge ourselves. But most importantly, its important to stop and hear what Life is nudging us towards.

Paulo Coelho, the philosopher writer says in his book, "The Pilgrimage" :
1) The first indication that we are killing our dreams is lack of time.
2) The second indication of the death of our dreams is certainty.
3) The third indication that our dreams are dead is peace. Life becomes one long Sunday afternoon if we do not ask great things of ourselves and do not demand more of ourselves than we can give. We are, in short, refusing to fight for our dreams.


The story for me does not stop here. Infact it just begins. What I have learnt in the short time since I have put in my papers and conclusively in my mind decided to move on in a certain direction is that, life moves magically to help you. A whole new world, with different people and different vistas has opened up. In the last one month I have suddenly chanced upon so many interestng people, doing so many - different - interesting things. I have also suddenly discovered so many people whom I have known for long - doing very different pursuits on the side. Its almost like Life encouraging me again : "Move on sonny - there are many more like you - pursuing off-beat tracks".

I conclude with a beautiful passage from Richard Bachs book, "The bridge across Forever" - it goes like this : "Whatever enchants also guides and protects. Passionately obsessed by anything we love - sailboats, airplanes, ideas - an avalanche of magic flattens the way ahead, levels rules, reasons, dissents, bears us with it over chasms, fears, doubts. Without the power of that love, we're boats becalmed on seas of boredom, and those, are deadly".

We have one life to live - why not live it, with the butterflies always ?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

When Two Become One

Was at home today - having taken a break from office - and was sifting through some old diaries. I had this habit in college, where I used to jot down any beautiful piece of writing that I came across, which touched me in some way. No blogs those days, so personal diaries were the only mode. Over the years theres one advise from the Bible that I have found to be particularly useful. Its from Phillipians 2:3 and it says : "Fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise : things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely and honourable". So, heres sharing with all of you a beautiful poem that I once came across :

Two shadows on grass,
Elongated, growing,
Walking together,
Through meadows of green;
My shoulders much broader,
Your figure much slimmer,
Two shadows together,
With sunlight between.
How far the horizon,
Violet with shadows,
As the sun drops behind us,
In a welter of gold.
My arms on your shoulder,
Pulling you closer,
Making one shadow,
When twilight takes hold.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

God in indulgence

Last week we took a break from our hectic schedules - to do a road trip, by car - to Narkhanda - Thanedar - Chail and back. Far from the maddening crowd, in the silence of the hills - if you keep still enough, you can hear God whispering in the winds. I guess God thinks like a business man - for while he has hectic cities, pirate filled seas & regions of human turmoil like Afghanistan and Pakistan on one hand - he definitely needs to have places like Narkanda to balance out his portfolio. In the deep silences - and the conversations of the non-human world, the soul of the world recuperates - God lies back and enjoys the play and little humans like me find our moorings again.
The wind whistled a tune,
Which the Pine caught on,
And soon across the valley,
A lilting chorus broke out.

The birds joined the melody,
A distant cow added its notes.
In excitement, a few mongrels barked,
And in symphony, a radio switched on.

The blushing sun, now in raptures,
Slipped behind her veils,
While the hills stood tall in applause,
Cheering another glorious day.

Up above, an indulgent Father,
Overlooks the joyful play.
Of His children in gay abandon,
Under His watchful eye.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

New beginnings

Its always a difficult decision to change course in a career - especially when you are doing well in a job, in a role and in a company. Most of my friends think its crazy for me to be leaving my job at a time when the economy is also limping. But what does one do when he hears a different drummer ? I saw a cartoon recently where one cat is telling another : "I could have done so much more with my life, if I had not focussed all my energies in tearing up the sofa" !! Because I was really good at my job, I perhaps got stuck to it for too long too .... but always - better late than never. As much as I love hp - it does feel lighter to be free of my "job".... that even though, I do not have another "sofa" in hand .... my wife, she has started calling me a "maverick" - i take it in as a compliment and feel better about myself and my world.....

Two plus two makes four my boy,
"Walk along the straight line".
Dont dare turn left, when we say right,
Fall in line, obey, comply.

March on, look right ahead,
Stomp your foot - straight in line.
Up goes the hand, that chin up too,
Not a thought from you - Robot man.

This is your world - one size for all,
Everyones a bottle of coke.
Same size, same shape, standardise,
Same thoughts, no voice - you realise ?

ok heres the dare :
First fall out of line,
Walk zig zag - hop skip and then jump.
Now take that lane, yes that off beat one,
Go on - walk on - explore.

Out at the other end now,
What did you see ?
What did you learn ?
What did you uncover ?

Its not the "what" thats important,
But the fact that you "did",
Just listen to your own drummer my friend,
For the music always tops the coke !!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

One Moment In Time

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel, I will feel eternity

Ships they say are safest in the harbour - but thats not what ships are made for. Call it madness, call it hope, call it a leap of faith - I don't want to be, at the end of my life be thinking, "what if...".

I need that one moment in time.